So today was Easter Sunday. Wow. Glad thats over!
To be fair it went pretty well. No one managed to give the kids chocolate as far as I know, but they did have some lovely gifts. Elf made some lovely cards for her friends and teacher at church. We had family over for lunch. The girls finished off the other half of their RAWR chocolate eggs.
On the other hand, I’ve had to frog a bit of my jumper in progress becasue I left it mid row to deal with Imp (he is the only one I will do this for unless there is blood!) and then forgot what I was doing and managed to mess it up… Didn’t realise until a few rows later, and by then it wasn’t worth unpicking individual stitches… Bah! Its looking good though. I have also managed to put in a life line just in case… (photos next time!)
So Imp has been incredibly unsettled the last week or so. Really clingy for me. Won’t even let me leave the room without sobbing uncontrollably. He is terrified every time someone comes over that i am going to leave him. He even got upset last week when I left him with The Man to do some grocery shopping in the evening.
Tonight I ended up having to lie in bed with him with him having a total meltdown. I know there’s not a lot I can do to help, and if i try to touch him or cuddle him he gets more annoyed. But I think its important to him (and to me) to know that I haven’t left him. I am still there. I don’t know what he needs, but I know he is frustrated. Perhaps its teeth. Perhaps he has some virus coming on. Maybe he’s got to that funny age where they realise that mummy and imp are not the same person, and mummy can go away and leave him. And not come back. I don’t know what I’ve done to provoke this, I have barely let him with anyone but The Man, in all fairness. I guess he is just a lot more like his elder sister than the younger.
So anyway, as I lie in bed with him, waiting for him to be calm enough to let me feed him back to the land of nod, I sing. I sing because it keeps me calm. I tend to sing the same song when they’re upset. Its called “Master the Tempest is Raging”. I remember back when I was in my first year at uni, I used to sing this song to myself while I cycled the 30-40 min across town come rain, shine or complete downpour to get to church. It was a particularly miserable time because more often than not once i was there I seemed to be able to make myself invisible to everyone but one or two students. No idea how I managed that. So its a pretty emotionally charged hymn for me. Lots of memories. I used to sing it in the shower when i was pregnant with Willow and trying to deal with all the crap the midwives were throwing at me. Of course, the other hymn that followed on from that was “Oh my Father”. The only hymn I know which mentions our Heavenly Mother. For some reason, at that time more than any other, it calmed me and made me feel at peace.
So thats the memory I have to share tonight… Before it gets lost in the ether. Maybe things will settle down again soon and i will be able to record more of our goings on. For now its hard enough keeping our goings on going on 😉